Randomosity
by crazy DOOM kitten
Summary: Just a little humor that sprung from my mind in science class slight yaoi. Has become a collection of one shot's
1. Default Chapter

Don't wanna know  
  
Hi Hi crazy DOOM kitten here and I'd just like to clear up a few things. This is just a one shot ficcy so no sequels unless I got a lot of reviews of course. Any way just to make things clear I'm calling Yami Bakura, Bakura and not evil Bakura Ryou m'kay? Well that being said let's get on with it.  
  
Y kitten: Hey you forgot the disclaimer!  
  
Damn you caught that! Well I don't own Yugioh so don't sue me okay?  
  
Y kitten: And now on with our story  
  
The scene opens and you see Bakura watching TV He's wrapped in a red blanket and is hugging what looks like a man eater bug plushie. In the back round you hear cheesy soap opera music playing. Ryou walks past behind the couch Bakura is sitting on looks at the screen of the T.V and does a double take.  
  
"Bakura are you watching a soap opera?!"  
  
Bakura just nodes a slightly crazed looks in his eyes. Ryou, looking extremely perturbed goes into the kitchen and comes back a short while later with a bowl of popcorn joining Bakura on the couch. On the TV the over exaggerated voices of the actors can be heard  
  
'Oh Margo!' 'Oh Loyd!'  
  
This goes on for a while (Think Tamahome and Miaka) and the cheesy music still playing in the back round. Later the episode almost over and the popcorn all gone Ryou looks near tears and Bakura has a maniacal glint in his eyes. Then the music begins to change becoming rather . threatening. Again you hear the voices of the actors this time one sounds panicked.  
  
'No Margo! No don't do it NOOOO! ~Insert soul rendering scream here~  
  
Ryou looks on horrified while Bakura begins to laugh. Still with a look of shock and horror on his face Ryou looks at Bakura.  
  
"Bakura?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You knew that was going to happen didn't you?"  
  
"Yup Malik taped it and lent it to me, said I'd get a kick outta the ending."  
  
"You scare me some times you know that Bakura?"  
  
In response Bakura just grins.  
  
FIN  
  
So, so, so? Did ya like huh didja? Y kitten: Some one's a little desperate for vindication isn't she? Shut up! Any way peeps review comments and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism welcome. Flames will' Ironically enough be tossed in my fireplace. 


	2. the Prelude to madness

The Prequel!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't won Yu-Gi-Oh so all you homophobes better be grateful!  
  
(Hi! I thought I'd tell you that I'm calling Yami Malik Marik)  
  
Malik and his Yami had a secret. A terrible, horrible deep dark secret that would destroy them if anyone knew. Well that's what they thought. Isis and Rishid just added to a long list of 'quirks' the two have.  
  
They watch soap operas. Every Saturday morning they would wrap themselves in a purple polar fleece blanket, holding a matching pair of chibi Ra plushies a one liter tub of Double chocolate chocolate fudge brownie mocha swirl ice cream (I have actually seen that kind of ice cream. It scares me.) And watch their favorite soap.  
  
Today was special because it was the season finally so Marik was taping it. Malik had snuggled up close to Marik and ate the spoon full of ice cream that Marik occasionally held in front of his face. Marik himself was enjoying the feel of his Hikari being so snuggly.  
  
"Oh Margo!"  
  
"Oh John!"  
  
The violins started playing and Malik snuggled closer to Marik sniffling. He had always been a hopeless romantic.  
  
It was much later in the show, ice cream all gone as were Isis and Rishid to avoid a hyper Malik and Marik. The music had begun to change and Marik wrapped his arms around his Hikari, Ra plush long forgotten, Malik's cuddlier anyway. Malik's eyes had grown larger in anticipation, nearing Yugi size.  
  
"No Margo don't do it! NOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
Malik was shocked. He looked up at his Yami tears in his eyes.  
  
"That was so sad!"  
  
Marik nodded then smiled. He had the perfect idea to cheer up his Hikari.  
  
"Lets get some more ice cream then go see the tomb robber!" Malik grinned, sugar taking effect (be afraid be VERY afraid.)  
  
So out they went, Marik grabbed the tape from the VCR before leaving. Tomb robber would get a kick out of the ending.  
  
Well? Good, bad, want to kill me? Let me know loves! Note: This was written while listening to "One Winged Angel" from the FFVII sound track 


	3. For every thing else, theres mastercard

Yu-Gi-Oh commercials  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh if I did Yami and Yugi would be going at it like rabbits in the spring!  
  
Bottle of Vodka: 20. $  
  
Plastic Knife: $00.5  
  
Millennium Ring: Free  
  
Watching your crazy homicidal Yami try to murder a drunk who hit on you with a plastic knife; Priceless There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's Master card.  
  
Leather Collar: 10. $  
  
Leather leash: 20.00  
  
Millennium Puzzle: Ask grandpa  
  
Walking up to your Yami wearing only that and watching him pass out with a nose bleed; priceless There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's master card  
  
Sailor suite: 30$  
  
Lots of chocolate: 20$  
  
Millennium rod; YOUR SOUL!!!!!!!  
  
Watching your hyper Yami fight for "love & justice in the name of the moon"? ; Priceless there are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's master card  
  
I know I know It's short! Ah well and so Randomosity grows. Be afraid. Very, very afraid. Suggestions welcome tell me in a review and I'll post it in the next installment 


	4. Mentos The Fresh Maker

Mentos  
  
Yes I have done the unthinkable! FEAR MY BAKURA MENTOS ADD!!!!!! *ahem * right.anyway I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh so don't sue me okay  
  
We see that Bakura has managed to kill the drunk who hit on Ryou in the Master card add and is about to dispose of the body.  
  
He sees two police officers coming his way and begins to panic then gets an idea. Popping a mentos into his mouth he grins evilly.  
  
/ It doesn't matter what comes fresh goes better with life./  
  
Bakura stands in front of the dead body as the police approach.  
  
/Nothing gets to you staying fresh staying cool with mentos fresh and full of life./  
  
The police look at Bakura then try to see what's behind him only to have Bakura block them.  
  
/ Mentos freshness, fresh with mentos./  
  
The police try to arrest our favorite tomb robber, like hell he's letting them. He summons the Man eater Bug who devours the two officers sending them to the shadow realm. Bakura then holds up the mentos package and smirks  
  
/With mentos fresh and full of life. Mentos the fresh maker!/  
  
Yes fear me and my insanity. Note this and all the others proceeding it came to me in science class. Be afraid, be very afraid. 


	5. What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?

Klondike Bar  
  
MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! I LIVE!!! PH33R M3!! Anyway. here's yet another installment of Randomosity for you all to enjoy so eat up!  
  
Your see Malik and Marik walking down a street arm in arm enjoying the lovely weather and being the pchyopaths we know and love with all are hearts.  
  
Voice: What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?  
  
Marik turns to his aibou confused.  
  
Marik: What's a Klondike bar?  
  
Malik: it's an ice cream bar.  
  
Marik gets a slightly more insane look to his eyes and grins turning to face the screen  
  
Marik: What WOULDEN'T I do for a Klondike bar?  
  
Voice: Would you KILL for a Klondike bar?  
  
As if on Que. a man holding a Klondike bar walk by. He's of no importance but he does seem to resemble Weevil. Seeing this Marik follows the guy off screen and we soon hear screams of agony and Marik's insane laughter. He returns a short while later covered in blood and eating the mans Klondike bar.  
  
Malik: I think that answers your question doesn't it.  
  
Voice: He wasn't really supposed to kill the guy.  
  
Marik: So?  
  
Voice: Right.  
  
From out of nowhere Yugi walks on screen and sees Marik covered in blood then turns to face the screen.  
  
Yugi: I TOLD you not to ask him that.  
  
Voice: Shut up and sing the song!  
  
Yugi: *Sigh * Voice: What would you do for a Klondike bar?  
  
Yugi: For the chocolate coated, ice cream loaded, nice and thick no room for a stick. What would you do for a Klondike bar?  
  
END  
  
Sooo. did you like? Tell me! Anyway I need help. Not that kind of help! I want to do herbal essences and juicy fruit ads but I need the jingles. The older the herbal essences one because I HATE the new ads with the chicks faking orgasms and the new juicy fruit one. So if you would be so kind as to post them on a review if you know them please tell ^_^  
  
P.S The juicy fruit add idea was brought to you by eeveeneo2 


	6. Weed or Daisy

Weed or Daisy?  
  
Well, I'm back! MUWHAHAHAHAHA! *ahem * anyway here's yet another little bit of insanity brought to you by yours truly crazy DOOM kitten! Yugi would you please do the disclaimer?  
  
Yugi: Kitten does NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh, thank GOD! So please don't sue her!  
  
Now on with the fic!  
  
The Yami's and Hikari's were walking down the streets of Domino city generally wreaking havoc. Well the yami's were causing havoc, the hikari's were trying to stop them or at least slow them down.  
  
Malik and his yami Marik had come for a visit since Isis and Rishid were working on a new exhibit in the domino museum.  
  
They were taking a brief repast from causing chaos and mayhem at an ice cream stand near the museum. Yugi was sitting on Yami's lap taking tiny licks of his strawberry ice cream cone; Yami occasionally taking a few licks of is own. Bakura and Marik were fighting over the last ice cream bar generally making fools of themselves.  
  
Suddenly Marik hit Bakura on the back of his head with his millennium rod sending Bakura to the ground. Marik then broke the ice cream bar into two pieces and gave the larger part to Malik. A few seconds later Bakura popped back up and started to pick at Ryou's Sunday.  
  
Yugi blinked then mumbled something under his breath.  
  
"Aibou? Did you say something?"  
  
Yugi looked up at Yami and grinned.  
  
"Well I was thinking. Bakura's a lot like a daisy."  
  
That got Bakuras attention.  
  
"You mean you think I'm pretty?"  
  
Yugi shook his head.  
  
"No I mean no matter how many times you get knocked down you keep coming back up."  
  
Yami smiled and spoke up.  
  
"Wouldn't that make him more like a weed?" 


	7. My god

My God.  
  
Weeeeee My first update since the start of the school year! Celebrations! * sigh* Any way this chapter is for a friend of mine. She knows who she is! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ^o^ Another not is that I have not seen all of battle city and thus have NO CLUE what is going on most of the time this is completely a product of my warped mind.  
  
~~~~^^^^^^^^^^~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was the duel that held the fate of the wold in the balance. The one that would determine who would face Yami no Malik.  
  
Seto Kaiba VS Yami no Yugi.  
  
Both were near defeat, their god cards on the field and poised to attack. Their friends or in Kiaba's case family were cheering them on praying that which ever way this ended the world wouldn't be doomed. That's when Yami heard it. Trickling though the mind of his other half, a tune. One they had heard whilst preparing for this very duel. Something about dog food. But why was his hikari singing THAT jingle now?  
  
/.is better than yours./  
  
Yami nearly choked on the laughter he was holding back. It wouldn't do to break out into hysterical laughter in the middle of a duel, it might make him seem crazier than Yami no Malik.  
  
Regaining his demeanor and mentally shushing his hikari he continued the duel.  
  
~~^^^~~  
  
The Duel was over, Yami had won. And once he left the platform he broke into peals of laughter shocking every one there. He was laughing so hard his sides hurt and eyes watered. His Friends were confused as hell had he lost his mind?  
  
Yami straightened himself and managed to calm down a little. Still not believing his sweet innocent hikari had sung that. Shaking his head Yami walked towards the exist of the arena chuckling to himself.  
  
Yami no Malik turned to Isis.  
  
"And you think I'M crazy?"  
  
Meanwhile Yami lay in his bed the lyrics of Yugi's song still ringing through his head.  
  
"My gods better than your god.  
  
My gods better than yours.  
  
My gods better 'cause he gets Kennel rich.  
  
My gods better than yours."  
  
~~~~^^^^^~~~~  
  
Tee hee! Yet another chapter of insanity! I hoped you liked that dear! ^_^ I did. Ne way tis late and I have work tomorrow must be going now! Ta ta! 


End file.
